Drenched in sweat, and showing the wear of a haggard early morning skate on his face, Aaron Rome approaches his stall in the visitor’s locker room. A member of the media, presumably the one who did a piss poor job of setting the alarm clock in the hotel room, waits to interview him…
Reporter: “Hey, Aaron, a couple of questions?”
Rome: “Huh? Me? Um, sure.”
Rome takes a deep breath and thinks to himself….
“OK, Romer, this is it. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. Time to show the boys that those public speaking courses on tape were totally worth the money. OK, ease into it… start with something fresh, possibly something from Northrop Frye. No, no, too erudite. Maybe something off the cuff, like a Jeremy Lin pun or maybe one of my a capella slow jams? Those are big, yeah? No, no. Romer, you’re blowing it, take it easy. Don’t be common. You’re better than that. Maybe open with a quote from Socrates and then right to the finale! OK, focus Romer, just focus. Focus! From here on out, it’s goodbye Aaron Rome, middling defensemen and hello to Aaron “all roads lead to” Rome.”
Reporter: “Uh, Aaron? Aaron?
Rome: “Yeah?”
Reporter: “You kind of zoned out there. I wanted to know if you thought tonight’s Detroit game would be the game of the year for the Canucks?”
Rome: looks downward, the air taken out of his sails. “Oh. Um, um, yeah I think we’re going to just approach it, uh, you know, like every other game. It’s just another two points.”
Reporter: “OK, thanks Aaron.”
Rome: “No problem.”
Rome watches to make sure the reporter has left the room, as he removes the baton and lighter fluid from under his jersey and returns them to the non descript bag in his locker.
Rome: “Someday, Romer. Someday”
Well, it rarely happens, but tonight’s Canucks / Red Wings game at Joe Louis Arena is actually an NHL game that’s worth the hype. The Red Wings have the best home record in the NHL, thanks to a league record 23 consecutive home wins while the Canucks have the league’s best road record at 20-10-2.
While not quite one of those, “immovable object meets an unstoppable force” equations, the Red wings and Canucks are currently sitting at first and second place in the NHL respectively, and is as close to a “Battle of the Titans” type game as the Canucks have had all year.
So, to add to your viewing pleasure tonight, here’s some things you know, some things you don’t know, and let’s face it, some things you just weren’t meant to know.
Russian born superstar and possible lone survivor of Krypton, Pavel Datsyuk will not be in the lineup for the Red Wings tonight after having his knee scoped. What hasn’t been released is that Datsyuk scoped his own knee using a spork, and a folded up issue of, The Economist.
Hands by Michaelangelo. Hair by Supercuts.
At some point during the game, the crowd will sing along to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” as it’s played over the Joe Louis Arena sound system. Not only is it a time honored tradition that draws Red Wings fans closer together, but it usually drowns out the gunfire from the parking lot.
The Canucks have two players from Michigan in their lineup. Ryan Kesler is from nearby Levonia, Michigan while David Booth was born in Detroit in 1984. Although, the paternity tests have proved inconclusive, his flowing locks indicate that Ron Dugay’s hazy night of double proof rum, and lowered inhibitions may have bore fruit.
Papa?
Rugged Detroit Red Wings winger, Johan Franzen was given the nickname, “The Mule” by his teammates because “he carries the load”. Coincidentally, the Canucks have given, much maligned defenseman, Aaron Rome, the nickname, “Tijuana Donkey Show” because most of them can’t believe he’s in the NHL. But once they’ve seen him, they’re changed forever. Also, they may have VD..
Sometimes to start the game, Joe Louis Arena, head ice manager, Al Sobotka will throw a dead octopus onto the ice. Some see it as a grand tradition steeped in history, while others see it as a symbolic gesture indicating that the Red Wings will choke the life out of their opponesnts, but Canucks broadcaster John Garret sees it as a possible new post game snack slathered in Cheez Whiz.
It is well known, that the Detroit Red Wings are a team made up of “steals’ found in the late rounds of the NHL entry draft. Datsyuk was drafted 171st overall, Franzen was drafted 97th overall and Henrik Zetterberg was drafted 210th overall. While not divulging their scouting methods, Ken Holland does remind his scouts to “Try to imagine what Mike Milbury would do, then do the exact opposite.”
Red Wings Captain, Nicklas Lidstrom will be playing in his 19th NHL season. He has been voted by several sporting agencies as the greatest NHL defenseman to ever play the game of hockey. He has won the Norris Trophy 7 times, 4 Stanley Cups, the Conn Smyth trophy, and a gold medal for Sweden at the Olympic Games. And yet, Don Cherry still picks Bobby Orr, because, you know, good Canadian Kid, right there, boy!
The Detroit Red Wings are coached by Mike Babcock. Babcock is known as a stern disciplinarian, who demands only the best from his players. Players who wind up in his doghouse are immediately taken off the list to brush his hair during intermissions.
Hard hitting Red Wing defenseman, Niklas Kronwall is known for laying devastating open ice hits. The hockey world has rewarded Kronwall with his own verb, saying that a player hit by Kronwall has been “Kronwalled”. “..and yet “whited out gets no love” shouts defenseman, Ian White after he knocks a player into the benches.
The Canucks will be playing against the Red Wings new defensive acquisition, Kyle Quincey. Quincey is described as a “goal scoring defenseman’ in the Red Wings media guide. Of course he is, we all know that Sam is responsible for the assists. Ta-da!
Follow me on Twitter @steveintheKT or email me at sbshalagan@gmail.com. I won’t stop believin’.
